Mr. Skwidge-Winkle
Cyril Skwidge-Winkle is the Mayonnaise-Squirting teacher at Swedhump Elementary. He is legendary.
The sport is exactly what it sounds like: squirting mayonnaise onto a target, a hamburger or a hot dog, from a distance.
When Cyril was just 5 years old he developed a passion for mayonnaise squirting, and by the time he was 7 he was having private lessons with Gøünthøer Høendløesmøan-Eggg, the great grand-grand-nephew-cousin of the inventor of the sport.
The private tutoring proved to be an invaluable start to Cyril's career.
By the time he was 9 he was already squirting mayonnaise at a professional level, and there was no doubt in anyone's minds that one day he'd be world champion.
At 19 he managed 22 yards, the junior record at the time. He was World Mayonnaise Squirting champion in 2020, at the age of 25, with a distance of 33 yards.
Mrs. Rosebank hired him, and Dash Candoo is among his students.
First seen in Book 14, page 5
Research
e_mr_skwidge_winkleIn the printed almanac pages (2 cited)
Straight from the books
Facts
character_fact (3)
By the time Cyril Skwidge-Winkle was 25 he was World Mayonnaise Squirting Champion.
By the time he was 25 he was World Champion. b14:c08:p185
Cyril Skwidge-Winkle developed a passion for mayonnaise squirting at age 5 and was having private lessons at age 7 with Gounthoer Hoendloesmoan-Eggg, the great grand-grand-nephew-cousin of the inventor of the sport.
When Cyril was just 5 years old he developed a passion for mayonnaise squirting, and by the time he was 7 he was having private lessons with Gøünthøer Høendløesmøan-Eggg, the great grand-grand-nephew-cousin of the inventor of the sport. b14:c99:p333
By age 9, Cyril Skwidge-Winkle was already squirting mayonnaise at a professional level.
By the time he was 9 he was already squirting mayonnaise at a professional level, and there was no doubt in anyone's minds that one day he'd be world champion. b14:c99:p333
world_rule (1)
Mayonnaise Squirting involves squirting mayonnaise onto a target (like a hamburger or hot dog) from a distance.
And in case you were wondering, this fine activity involves squirting mayonnaise onto a target (like a hamburger or hot dog) from a distance. b14:c08:p184
numeric_fact (1)
Cyril Skwidge-Winkle managed a distance of 22 yards when he was just 19 years old, which was the junior record at the time.
When he was just 19 years old, Cyril Skwidge-Winkle managed a distance of 22 yards, which was junior record at the time. b14:c08:p185
Relationships
- teacher_of Dash Candoo
Our Mayonnaise-Squirting teacher is Mr. Skwidge-Winkle. b14:c08:p184
- works_at Swedhump Elementary
Cyril Skwidge-Winkle is the Mayonnaise-Squirting teacher at Swedhump Elementary. b14:c99:p333
Incoming
Mrs. Rosebank attended a live performance where, suspended from a trapeze, he performed a perfect aerial backward squidge through a burning hoop. She hired him on the spot. b14:c08:p186