Welcome to Total Mayhem
Home of Dash Candoo, Swedhump Elementary, flying fried eggs, scallywag emergencies and a school week that has never once gone according to plan.
16 books732 Almanac entries50 things to do
The AlmanacEvery character, gadget, creature, place and move in the series - 732 entries, A to Z.A to Z →
Fun stuffMazes, comics, jokes, riddles, quizzes and how to draw Dash yourself.50 things to do →
The booksThe Total Mayhem series, in publishing order.Start with Book 1 →
The MapSwedhump Elementary and beyond. Find out exactly where the mayhem happened.Explore →
From the Almanac
WobblerThis is a SWD (Standardized Wobbling Device) that wobbles the object placed upon it.
Snegg-RollerThis is a device that shoots a beam that makes things roll.
OsCoLoMaToDespite looking complicated, this is a very simple airborne machinery transporter.
MoustacherangA moustacherang is a boomerang made out of actual moustache hair.
Penguin-ArmorAn armour-plated Morph-suit designed by Mgadigadi Technologies.
walkie-shoutieA walkie-shoutie is like a walkie-talkie, but better.
Move 888 (Flailing Octopus)Move 888 (Flailing Octopus) is a famous and highly effective attack and distraction move.
Mole ScallywagsEnemy fighters. The ones that can dig through anything. These are fairly uncommon and dangerous scallywags.
See all 732 entriesA to Z →
Start with Book 1
Start hereBook 1The Cave of ThievesBefore Breakfast: Wrestle-Scallywag and Devil-Cat attack
Vegetables: Devil-Cat attempts to steal Carrot 27b
Wobble Ball: Devil-Cat steals the Stotinki Trophy7 incidents - 57 first appearances
Book 2The Curse of the Blue SpotsBefore Breakfast: Mindreading-Scallywags and Snarling Jetpack-Hog attack
Blue spots outbreak during Art class
Paint-throwing fight between the Johnson twins in Art class9 incidents - 41 first appearances
Book 3The Forest of SecretsFive Forest-Scallywags attack before breakfast
Umbahorra grins at Dash before breakfast
Moremi Forest closed by fake Invizizz migration sign9 incidents - 33 first appearances
Book 4War of the WaterslidesBefore Breakfast: Desert-Scallywags and VCA attack
Pause Class disruption: water, Dog, and armadillo cake
Sniffy's secret tunnel discovered during Hole-Digging Class8 incidents - 42 first appearances
Book 5Total Ice Cream MeltdownIce-Scallywags burst from the freezer
The Nose intrudes and follows Dash
Suspicious Seven Sisters van circles the ICM Hangar11 incidents - 33 first appearances
Book 6Dash Candoo and the Missing DucksHenry the Hog disrupts the row-boat station and capsizes boats
Henry causes a Total Hog-vs-Duck Situation with the Wombattina Triplets
Henry urinates on artwork at the outdoor art exhibition10 incidents - 42 first appearances
Book 7Onto the Forbidden IslandMainly Smiles kidnapped
Investigation at the Botanical Gardens
First visit to Norma Island - confronted by PTH8 incidents - 47 first appearances
Book 8The Total Penguin SituationMicro-Scallywag attack before breakfast
Devil-Cat inside Dash's house
Total Penguin Situation at Swedhump Elementary8 incidents - 35 first appearances
Book 9The Case of the Missing MarbleRainbow-Scallywag and Devil-Cat breakfast attack
Marble Day Competition
Theft of the Uppacrombian Amber during the Final10 incidents - 42 first appearances
Book 10The Kiting ChaosCheese-Scallywag morning attack at Dash's home
Devil-Cat steals Dash's Grozint sandwich
Kite Storeroom flood ruins kites11 incidents - 58 first appearances
Book 11The Bread Baking BallyhooThe Giant Exploding Cheesecake
Scallywag spoor before breakfast
Hover-Piano malfunction (first)11 incidents - 34 first appearances
Book 12AFriday Again: Dash Candoo and the Day that went Bananas Vol 1Snausage switch jammed - room flooded with snausages
KB-15 vibrates at mysterious sock on way to school
Hair-Gro Potion explosion makes school buildings hairy10 incidents - 58 first appearances
Book 12BFriday Again: Dash Candoo and the Day that went Bananas Vol 2Devil-Cat and Sock-Scallywags attack and capture the team
Stumpnose impersonates Chef Froff
Escape from the cargo hold10 incidents - 4 first appearances
Book 13Summer Camp: Dash Candoo and the Raft RaceRaft Race Tournament (Race 1)
Workshop Break-in Attempt and Night Watch
Dash Follows Intruder Into the Darkness12 incidents - 43 first appearances
Book 14Dash Candoo and the War of the Hot Dogs: Monday Again AgainMole Scallywags attack before breakfast
Devil-Cat ceiling chase before breakfast
Mole Scallywags attempt to abduct Chef McHound in Hot Dog Making class9 incidents - 39 first appearances
The AlmanacDash Candoo's Week One AlmanacEvery character, gadget, creature, place and move in the series - 732 entries, A to Z.The world of the books, explained
Book 1The Cave of ThievesBefore Breakfast: Wrestle-Scallywag and Devil-Cat attackVegetables: Devil-Cat attempts to steal Carrot 27b
Wobble Ball: Devil-Cat steals the Stotinki Trophy7 incidents - 57 first appearances
Book 2The Curse of the Blue SpotsBefore Breakfast: Mindreading-Scallywags and Snarling Jetpack-Hog attackBlue spots outbreak during Art class
Paint-throwing fight between the Johnson twins in Art class9 incidents - 41 first appearances
Book 3The Forest of SecretsFive Forest-Scallywags attack before breakfastUmbahorra grins at Dash before breakfast
Moremi Forest closed by fake Invizizz migration sign9 incidents - 33 first appearances
Book 4War of the WaterslidesBefore Breakfast: Desert-Scallywags and VCA attackPause Class disruption: water, Dog, and armadillo cake
Sniffy's secret tunnel discovered during Hole-Digging Class8 incidents - 42 first appearances
Book 5Total Ice Cream MeltdownIce-Scallywags burst from the freezerThe Nose intrudes and follows Dash
Suspicious Seven Sisters van circles the ICM Hangar11 incidents - 33 first appearances
Book 6Dash Candoo and the Missing DucksHenry the Hog disrupts the row-boat station and capsizes boatsHenry causes a Total Hog-vs-Duck Situation with the Wombattina Triplets
Henry urinates on artwork at the outdoor art exhibition10 incidents - 42 first appearances
Book 7Onto the Forbidden IslandMainly Smiles kidnappedInvestigation at the Botanical Gardens
First visit to Norma Island - confronted by PTH8 incidents - 47 first appearances
Book 8The Total Penguin SituationMicro-Scallywag attack before breakfastDevil-Cat inside Dash's house
Total Penguin Situation at Swedhump Elementary8 incidents - 35 first appearances
Book 9The Case of the Missing MarbleRainbow-Scallywag and Devil-Cat breakfast attackMarble Day Competition
Theft of the Uppacrombian Amber during the Final10 incidents - 42 first appearances
Book 10The Kiting ChaosCheese-Scallywag morning attack at Dash's homeDevil-Cat steals Dash's Grozint sandwich
Kite Storeroom flood ruins kites11 incidents - 58 first appearances
Book 11The Bread Baking BallyhooThe Giant Exploding CheesecakeScallywag spoor before breakfast
Hover-Piano malfunction (first)11 incidents - 34 first appearances
Book 12AFriday Again: Dash Candoo and the Day that went Bananas Vol 1Snausage switch jammed - room flooded with snausagesKB-15 vibrates at mysterious sock on way to school
Hair-Gro Potion explosion makes school buildings hairy10 incidents - 58 first appearances
Book 12BFriday Again: Dash Candoo and the Day that went Bananas Vol 2Devil-Cat and Sock-Scallywags attack and capture the teamStumpnose impersonates Chef Froff
Escape from the cargo hold10 incidents - 4 first appearances
Book 13Summer Camp: Dash Candoo and the Raft RaceRaft Race Tournament (Race 1)Workshop Break-in Attempt and Night Watch
Dash Follows Intruder Into the Darkness12 incidents - 43 first appearances
Book 14Dash Candoo and the War of the Hot Dogs: Monday Again AgainMole Scallywags attack before breakfastDevil-Cat ceiling chase before breakfast
Mole Scallywags attempt to abduct Chef McHound in Hot Dog Making class9 incidents - 39 first appearances
The AlmanacDash Candoo's Week One AlmanacEvery character, gadget, creature, place and move in the series - 732 entries, A to Z.The world of the books, explainedWho's who
DashSavior of the universe. Hates it when his breakfast (the most important meal of the day) gets disturbed.Appears in Books 1-14 and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Rob NewmanDash’s best friend.Appears in Books 1-14 and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Gronville HonkersmithMeanset boy in the school.Appears in Books 1-5, 7-12B, 14 and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Greta Gretchen-HofferChampion face-puller. Has a secret crush on Dash.Appears in Books 2-5, 7-14 and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Jeanjean-Jeanjean JohnsonTwin sister of Jonjon-Jonjon Johnson. They’re always fighting.Appears in Books 1-4, 8-10, 12A-12B, 14 and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Jonjon-Jonjon JohnsonTwin brother of Jeanjean-Jeanjean Johnson. They’re always fighting.Appears in Books 1-4, 8-10, 12A-12B, 14 and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Shereena Aska-LonkaExtremely clever.Appears in Books 2-4, 8-9, 12A and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Collum OllumNaughtiest kid in the school. Good friends with Dash.Appears in Books 2-4, 7-10, 12A, 14 and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Mrs. Hogmanny-Hog-MahommIt is said that she speaks over 300 different vegetable languages. She is also famous for having grown Carrot 27b, the world’s largest carrot.Appears in Books 1, 10, 12B and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Mr. GrodzinskiCurrent wobble ball World Champion. Rumoured that he is totally bald but wears a wig, and has a tattoo of a dancing aardvark on the top of his head.Appears in Books 1, 3, 10-12B and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Mr. DarlingWeirdly strict. Obsessed with his pinkfish, and every day, during recess, he takes them for a walk around the school yard and then usually reads them a story. He also loves to take them hiking, and to the beach.Appears in Books 1, 3-7, 10, 12B and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Mrs. TadrosKnown to spend entire weekends in the science lab, bubbling up new concoctions, and is famous for being able to make all kinds of perfumes.Appears in Books 1, 10, 12B and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Mrs. Belch-HickShe’s a bit weird, and has a cat called Dog.Appears in Books 1, 3-4, 10-11, 12B, 14 and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Mr. HogsbottomAlso works part-time as an astronaut and has been to the moon twice.Appears in Books 1, 3-4, 10-12B and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Mrs. ZhonstWon the World Face-Pulling Championship which was held at the Timbuktu Zoo in 1972 (it’s true).Appears in Books 2-3, 10, 12B and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Ms. WoodhouseOne of the world’s most respected jump-splodge paintersAppears in Books 2, 6, 11-12B and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Dr. WilliamsHas some of the world’s most fancy medical equipment and also happens to be one of the world’s most famous ant breeders.Appears in Books 2-3, 10, 12B and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Mr. PlumtreeFormerly the world’s most sought-after Royal Plumber. We have no idea how he got that dent in the side of his head, so don’t even ask.Appears in Books 2, 7, 10-11, 12B and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Mr. ProudfootFamous for his rain-dance, which ALWAYS works. World Rain-dancing Champion in 2018 (everyone actually had to evacuate the stadium on boats because he was so effective). For health & safety reasons he is forbidden from doing his rain dance on school premises.Appears in Books 2, 10, 12B and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Mr. IbisWorld famous for having won the Tour de South-Northern Swottolia (a legendary mountain race) on a bicycle he built while blindfolded.Appears in Books 2, 8, 10-11, 12B and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Sir Stephenson Remington-HobbesInventor of wobble-ball.Appears in Book 1 and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Professor-Inspector Josiah StumpnoseFounder and Principal of Stumpnose Elementary.Appears in Books 2, 4, 11-12B and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Allister SnaeffelsnessAllister Snaeffelsness is a former World Bubble-Blowing Champion.Appears in Book 10Almanac entry →
Andri GrimminikAndri-Grimminik Herr-Groggen-Chommen Hummen-Grekken is arguably the world’s most famous water fountain designer.Appears in Books 2, 4, 10 and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Aqualine (Ms.)Entrepreneur and adventurer.Appears in the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Aunt EeyolgaEllen's aunt, and the second oldest of Edna's siblings.Appears in Book 8Almanac entry →
Bernice WiggleTeaches Confused Class at Swedhump Elementary.Appears in Books 12A-12BAlmanac entry →
Bridal coupleA bridal couple who appear in Book 6.Appears in Book 6Almanac entry →
Chef McGurkOwner of McGurk's Hot Dog Factory.Appears in Book 14Almanac entry →
Chef McHoundJenny McHound, the Hot Dog Making teacher at Swedhump Elementary, and a total genius.Appears in Book 14Almanac entry →
Cynthia BlappyCynthia Blappy is the world's most famous, and most ferocious, Vertical Tug-of-war team trainer.Appears in Book 6Almanac entry →
Devil-CatEnemy fighter. Huge double-tailed black cat that for some reason always lands up on the wrong side of the law. Tends to partner withAppears in Books 1, 3-5, 8-10, 12A-12B, 14 and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Dr. Morris Bubble-ThorpeThe Chocolate Fountain teacher at Swedhump Elementary, where he teaches, as the title suggests, Chocolate Fountain.Appears in Books 11, 12BAlmanac entry →
Dr. Quilonius KhumberDr. Quilonius Khumber, who also answers to Dr. Q., teaches Grozint Sandwich-Making at Swedhump Elementary. Dash Candoo is among hisAppears in Books 10, 12BAlmanac entry →
Dr. Stella BriscoeDr. Stella Briscoe is the real soup-tasting teacher at Swedhump Elementary, based in the Soup Tasting and Appreciation Building.Appears in Book 12BAlmanac entry →
Edna EllenbogenOne of the parents of Ellen Ellenbogen, and a proprietor of Ellenbogen Snausages.Appears in Book 8Almanac entry →
Edward Smee-SpoonEdward Smee-Spoon twisted his ankle.Appears in Book 11Almanac entry →
Elijah FroffingtonElijah Froffington: world-famous soup chef, known to the public as Chef Froff, the World's Best Banana Soup Chef.Appears in Books 12A-12BAlmanac entry →
Ellen EllenbogenOne of Dash's closest friends, and a formidable operator in her own right.Appears in Books 8-14 and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Elliot Ridge-SnapperFor five years running, Elliot Ridge-Snapper was the World Baking Champion.Appears in Book 11Almanac entry →
Errika Snizzle18 year old Errika Snizzle (the previous year's champion) who was famous for her 8-footers.Appears in Book 14Almanac entry →
Flaxon Gronken-Snodt-HickFlaxon Gronken-Snodt-Hick is the inventor of Elbow-Cornering, a fine sport.Appears in Book 11Almanac entry →
GeorgginaGeorggina is Elijah Froffington's assistant.Appears in Book 12AAlmanac entry →
Granny FiddichGranny Fiddich, sometimes spelled Fidditch, is Lenwold Fiddich's granny.Appears in Book 9Almanac entry →
Harold EllenbogenHarold Ellenbogen is, with Edna, a parent of Ellen Ellenbogen and a proprietor of Ellenbogen's Snausages.Appears in Book 8Almanac entry →
Henry the HogDash's pet warthog. His smell is a precise blend of mildew, warthog, and duckpond.Appears in Books 6-7 and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Hommflimff Fleffle-SnippHommflimff Fleffle-Snipp was making a Quadruple avocado emulsifier with snausage paste, swed sauce and a drop of wombat juice.Appears in Book 10Almanac entry →
Homputer 44573XTeaches cooking. Homputer 44573X is a [homputer](homputers) that specialises in cooking. Its memory bank stores all receipes ever made inAppears in Books 5, 10, 12B and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Honkersmith familyA family entered in the sandcastle competition.Appears in Book 7Almanac entry →
Jamie T'arrowA competitor in the Marble Day Competition, drawn against Jeanjean-Jeanjean-Jean-Jean Johnson.Appears in Book 9Almanac entry →
Jenkins DuckbridgeThe winner of the NSPGTFMEKE (Norbert Schnossel Platinum Gold Trophy for Most Epic Kite of Event) was Jenkins Duckbridge.Appears in Book 10Almanac entry →
Jenna-Veeve Vvvwossington the NineteenthThe Mayor of Dashville, nineteenth of the name.Appears in Book 7Almanac entry →
Jenne-Veeve VervingtonThe prize for the Smallest Kite was won by Jenne-Veeve Vervington.Appears in Book 10Almanac entry →
Jezebel McNeighJezebel McNeigh, also known as Mrs.Appears in Books 10, 12BAlmanac entry →
Jonty Wobblett-Smee11 year old Jonty Wobblett-Smee who was famous for his 10 sausage Wonky Wonders.Appears in Book 14Almanac entry →
Joseph Josephs-JosephsJoseph Josephs-Josephs is a Cheesecake Technician and the brother of Josephine Josephs-Josephs.Appears in Book 11Almanac entry →
Josephine Josephs-JosephsJosephine Josephs-Josephs is a Cheesecake Technician and the sister of Joseph Josephs-Josephs.Appears in Book 11Almanac entry →
King CockroachNobody has any idea who, or what, King Cockroach is.Appears in Book 7 and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Kwazzzznik QuadrupletsThe Kwazzzznik Quadruplets.Appears in Book 7Almanac entry →
Lenwold FiddichClassmate of Dash Candoo and grandson of Granny Fiddich.Appears in Book 9Almanac entry →
Li'l Jimmy Jimmy-SinnNot much is actually known about Li’L Jimmy Jimmy-Sin, apart from the fact that he has lived his whole life in a castle up on Misty Cliffs.Appears in Book 5 and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Mayor Jenna-Veeve Vvvwossington the NinthJenna-Veeve Vvvwossington the Ninth is the Mayor of Dashville.Appears in the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Moira MemphisMoira Memphis teaches TV Production at Swedhump Elementary.Appears in Books 12A-12BAlmanac entry →
Mr Sealikk-HanthTruman Sealikk-Hanth teaches Fishbowl-on-Head at Swedhump Elementary.Appears in Books 12A-12BAlmanac entry →
Mr. Ape-RickottMr. Ape-Rickott teaches Treehouse Class at Swedhump Elementary. He is one of the world's most famous treehouse builders.Appears in Books 8, 10, 12BAlmanac entry →
Mr. BillfinchThe Marble-run Building teacher at Swedhump Elementary, also known as Dr.Appears in Books 9, 12BAlmanac entry →
Mr. ClanwilliamMr. Clanwilliam owns the row boats at Zoo Lake.Appears in Book 6Almanac entry →
Mr. GhogghhTeaches: Highly Irritating class Major Accomplishment: World Marble Run Champion (2017) Loves: Crocodiles, marble-runs, The OscillatingAppears in Books 5, 12B and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Mr. GoodacreZebulon Goodacre. Founder and Lord Admiral of Camp Goodacre.Appears in Book 13Almanac entry →
Mr. Gronken-Snodt-HickMr. Gronken-Snodt-Hick teaches Elbow-Cornering at Swedhump Elementary. He has twice been World Elbow-Cornering champion.Appears in Books 11, 12BAlmanac entry →
Mr. H.Mr. H. teaches Hamster-Wheel Building at Swedhump Elementary. The H is apparently short for Hollbertoniousiousious, pronouncedAppears in Books 10, 12BAlmanac entry →
Mr. HansenMr. Hansen, the caretaker at Swedhump Elementary.Appears in Book 14Almanac entry →
Mr. Humma-Groff-DwollopMr. Humma-Groff-Dwollop is one of the world's most famous bakers. He works at Zoo Lake.Appears in Book 6Almanac entry →
Mr. K.Herrodonious Karakorum, known to everyone as Mr.Appears in Books 10, 12BAlmanac entry →
Mr. McYawnTeaches: Really Boring Class Major Accomplishment: Has won The World’s Most Boring Person Award multiple times Loves: TrafficAppears in Books 3, 10, 12B and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Mr. Nomsa-Nomsa-NomsaTeaches: Hole-digging Major Accomplishment: World’s most respected [hole-digger](hole-digging-vehicles) mechanic Loves: PotatoesAppears in Books 4, 10, 12B and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Mr. Petty-Goash-ZharmbMr. Petty-Goash-Zharmb, known as PGZ, teaches Leaning Slightly to the Left at Swedhump Elementary. His qualification is structural: hisAppears in Books 10, 12BAlmanac entry →
Mr. RobinsbottomRobin Robinsbottom teaches Magnets in the Physics Department at Swedhump Elementary, where Dash Candoo is among his students.Appears in Book 14Almanac entry →
Mr. RosebankEbenezer Rosebank: world-famous inventor and ice cream maker, and husband of Mrs.Appears in Books 5, 8-12B, 14 and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Mr. Rrr-Tökk-TökkTeaches: The [Pause!](pause-game) Game.Appears in Books 4, 10, 12A-12B and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Mr. Skwidge-WinkleCyril Skwidge-Winkle is the Mayonnaise-Squirting teacher at Swedhump Elementary.Appears in Book 14Almanac entry →
Mr. SniffyMr. P. R. Sniffy. A special guest at Swedhump Elementary, and the owner and curator of the Sniffsonian, the world's most famous andAppears in Book 4Almanac entry →
Mr. SteadyneckTeaches: [Potted-Plant Balancing](potted-plant-balancing-moves) Major Accomplishment: Potted-Plant Balancing World Champion (1958) Loves:Appears in Books 3, 10, 12B and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Mr. StinsonTeaches: [Ceiling-throw](ceiling-throw) Major Accomplishment: World Ceiling-throw Champion Loves: Wobble-Ball, raisins, dancingAppears in Books 5, 10, 12B and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Mr. WeatherspoonMr. Weatherspoon: Chief Menagerie Officer at Swedhump Elementary, and before that the director of the Uzbuuku Zoo, where he had workedAppears in Book 11Almanac entry →
Mrs. FidwidgeThe Napkin-Folding teacher at Swedhump Elementary, hired by the principal, Mrs.Appears in Books 10, 12BAlmanac entry →
Mrs. FRRTMrs. FRRT teaches Physics at Swedhump Elementary. She is a world expert in Momentum, Collisions, Energy, Circular Motion and Gravity, andAppears in Books 9, 12BAlmanac entry →
Mrs. GlitchegrockenMrs. Glitchegrocken teaches Marble-Polishing-Machine Building at Swedhump Elementary. She first appeared in Book 9.Appears in Book 12BAlmanac entry →
Mrs. GlitchengrockenGretchen Glitchengrocken teaches Marble-Polishing-Machine Building.Appears in Book 9Almanac entry →
Mrs. OzniakTeaches: History Major Accomplishment: World’s largest collection of coffee, tea and chot-hotlitt making-machines Loves: Hot beveragesAppears in Book 12B and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Mrs. RosebankPrincipal of Swedhump Elementary.Appears in Books 1-5, 8-12B, 14 and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Mrs. Scratch ScratchBernice Scratch Scratch is the Fury Juice brewer and Fury Liquid Class teacher at Swedhump Elementary, where Dash Candoo is among herAppears in Book 14Almanac entry →
Mrs. WilberforceWinnifrieda Wilberforce teaches Transformation at Swedhump Elementary.Appears in Book 14Almanac entry →
Mrs. WobblethorpeTeaches: Bed-Jumping Major Accomplishments: Used to own the World’s Second-Most Amazing Hotel, has jumped on over 32,000 beds.Appears in Books 3, 12B and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Ms. AqualineMs. Aqualine is the owner of the Aqualinia Waterpark and founding chairwoman of the Aqualine Corporation. She appeared as a special guestAppears in Book 4Almanac entry →
Ms. EpiglottisMs. Epiglottis teaches SHOUT class at Swedhump Elementary. She is a famous opera singer, and she won the World Shout Championships in 1999.Appears in Books 8, 10, 12BAlmanac entry →
Ms. GlamorganTeaches: Egyptology Major Accomplishment: Double Olympic gold medalist (swimming) Loves: Swimming, anything to do with EgyptAppears in Books 4, 10, 12BAlmanac entry →
Ms. GlissicleTeaches: Waterslide.Appears in Books 4, 10, 12B and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Ms. GreenacreTeaches: Zip-Lining Major Accomplishment: World Zip-Lining Champion (2013) Loves: [Smarshmallows](smarshmallows), [noncycles](noncycles),Appears in Books 3, 10, 12B and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Ms. GrimsteadTeaches: Library Major Accomplishment: UNRLEAM Chief Library Officer Loves: BooksAppears in Books 3-5, 8-11, 12B and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Ms. InflatoriousWynona Inflatorious teaches Bubble-Blowing at Swedhump Elementary, where her students include Dash Candoo.Appears in Books 10, 12BAlmanac entry →
Ms. M'Punn-Dinn-GurryTeaches: Annoyingness Major Accomplishment: World’s Most Annoying Person (2007) Loves: UnknownAppears in Books 5, 12B and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Ms. McMuffinMarjorie McMuffin is the Baking teacher at Swedhump Elementary, where she works out of the Baking Studio.Appears in Books 11, 12BAlmanac entry →
Ms. Over-DewMs. Over-Dew teaches Being Late Class at Swedhump Elementary. She is qualified. She was World Being Late Champion in 2011.Appears in Books 8, 10, 12BAlmanac entry →
Ms. OzniakMs. Ozniak teaches History at Swedhump Elementary, and is widely regarded as the world's best history teacher. Dash Candoo is among herAppears in Books 3, 10Almanac entry →
Ms. TadrosMs. Tadros teaches science at Swedhump Elementary. Her major accomplishment is Egyptian Blue, a world-famous perfume.Appears in Book 11Almanac entry →
Norbert NiblettNorbert Niblett was a famous navigator and walrus impersonator who first landed in the area over 400 years ago.Appears in Books 7, 9 and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Norbert SchnosselNobody has the foggiest idea who Norbert Schnossel is, or why the trophy is named after him.Appears in Book 10Almanac entry →
Norma NiblettWife of the famous explorer Norbert Niblett.Appears in Book 7 and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Oceanus PomingtonCaptain of Industry.Appears in Book 6Almanac entry →
Oliver OshkoshCo-builder, with Wendy Woznohokk, of the Oshkosh-Woznohokk Waterslide.Appears in Book 4Almanac entry →
Oswøld Footmøld the ThirteenthOswøld Footmøld the Thirteenth is the founder of Camp Footmøld.Appears in Book 13Almanac entry →
Petunia Trundle-HumplePetunia Trundle-Humple, known as PTH and, less kindly, the Horrible Lady.Appears in Book 7 and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
President Jermina Wuttle-Snipe the 37thPresident Jermina Wuttle-Snipe the 37th was a president.Appears in Book 9Almanac entry →
Prof. Plebinorrius McDermott the 3rdProf. Plebinorrius McDermott the 3rd holds the office of Chief Marble Officer.Appears in Book 9Almanac entry →
Rogina McRoger-RogersonRogina McRoger-Rogerson is captain of the Zoo Lake Vertical Tug-of-war team.Appears in Book 6Almanac entry →
Semaphorius Trundle-HumpleAlso known as Old Man Trundle-Humple.Appears in Book 7 and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Seven SistersThe Seven Sisters are weird little ladies.Appears in Book 5Almanac entry →
Sir Oswald McChuckleJoke-Telling teacher.Appears in Books 12A-12BAlmanac entry →
Sir Rufus RedrockSir Rufus Redrock: one of the first teachers at Swedhump Elementary.Appears in Book 14Almanac entry →
Sniffy (Mr.)Owner of the [Sniffsonian Museum](sniffsonian).Appears in the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Substitute teacherName unknown. A strange, tall lady who would not let go of her two handbags and knew nothing about paper airplanes.Appears in Book 1Almanac entry →
The Bird LadyThe Cabin Allocator at Camp Goodacre.Appears in Book 13Almanac entry →
The President, Her Most Excellent Harriet Gladiolus the 49thHer Most Excellent Harriet Gladiolus the 49th.Appears in Books 12A-12BAlmanac entry →
The TrumpetersThe Trumpeters of Camp Goodacre.Appears in Book 13Almanac entry →
Thelonius GrozintThe epic, legendary inventor of the Grozint Sandwich.Appears in Book 10Almanac entry →
Theodonious UppacrombianThe most famous marble-maker ever to have lived.Appears in Book 9Almanac entry →
Veronica BravoVeronica Bravo used to be one of the naughtiest children at Swedhump Elementary.Appears in Book 9Almanac entry →
Vesuvius CasablancaVesuvius Casablanca is a famous explorer, naturalist, wart-melon farmer and hiking-boot reinventor.Appears in Book 7 and the AlmanacAlmanac entry →
Wendy WoznohokkCo-builder, with Oliver Oshkosh, of the Oshkosh-Woznohokk Waterslide.Appears in Book 4Almanac entry →
William WilliamsWilliam Williams, WW for short, is Chief Mechanic at Stumpnose Elementary, our rival school.Appears in Book 4Almanac entry →
Wolliams RamsbottomThe prize for the Weirdest Kite was won by Wolliams Ramsbottom.Appears in Book 10Almanac entry →
Wombattina TripletsThe Wombattina Triplets, Winnifred, Winona and Wilhemina, are duck-feeders at Zoo Lake.Appears in Book 6Almanac entry →No ads. No sign-ups. No tracking. For grown-ups →