Total MayhemAlmanac

Professor-Inspector Josiah Stumpnose

Founder and Principal of Stumpnose Elementary. Like his school, he smells of sardine.

Stumpnose, Josiah (Professor-Inspector)

His proper name is actually Josiah Stumpnose the Fourth.

Josiah Stumpnose the Fourth grew up in a sardine processing plant. His father (Josiah Stumpnose the Third) grew up in the same processing plant, as did his father (Josiah Stumpnose the Second), which was established by the original Josiah Stumpnose, now known in the family as Josiah Stumpnose the First.

Josiah Stumpnose the Fourth's dream was to leave the family sardine business, and become a school principal. But his father was not happy with it, and neither was his grandfather.

After he finished high school, Josiah Stumpnose the Fourth begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged to be allowed to go to school principal training academy, and his parents eventually and reluctantly let him.

Upon graduation he refused to go back to the family business, and was determined to start his own high school. He searched far and wide for a place to start one, but nowhere was available. Reluctantly he went back to the family sardine processing plant and started working there, in Packing Room 47.

It was there that he got his idea. His brilliant idea. Why not start a school in the processing plant?

Not only could he fulfil his dream of being a school principal, but the students, as part of their education, could learn about sardine processing and packing, and be used as free labor!

An ingenious idea.

His father, Josiah Stumpnose the Third was impressed, as was Josiah Stumpnose the Second.

Hence Stumpnose Elementary was born. Josiah Stumpnose the Fourth decreed himself Professor-Inspector for Life.

It's part-school, and part-sardine processing plant.

Period 3 of every day is compulsory sardine processing for all pupils. If they refuse to process the sardines, they instantly get fined $1,000 or expelled. Period 6 of every day is compulsory packing of sardine cans for all pupils. If they refuse to pack them, they instantly get fined $1,000 or expelled.

Professor-Inspector Josiah Stumpnose was finally happy for the first time in his life. But not for long. The local school, just down the road, which was not very good, suddenly got a new principal. Her name was Mrs. Rosebank, and she was determined to make her school the best in the world. Professor-Inspector Josiah Stumpnose was not happy about this. Not happy at all.

Appears in Books 2, 4, 11-12B and the Almanac
First seen in Book 2, page 9
Research
character e_professor_inspector_josiah_stumpnose - absorbed ids e_professor_josiah_stumpnose e_stumpnose_josiah
also known as Professor-Inspector Stumpnose Josiah Stumpnose the Fourth Stumpnose, Josiah (Professor-Inspector) Stumpnose Professor Inspector Stumpnose Professor Inspector Josiah Stumpnose Josiah Stumpnose Fake Froff
Principal of Stumpnose Elementary b02:c00:p009
first appearance b02:c00:p009

In the printed almanac pages (20 cited)

Straight from the books

Facts

character_fact (13)

Professor-Inspector Josiah Stumpnose is the founder and principal of Stumpnose Elementary; his proper name is Josiah Stumpnose the Fourth.

Founder and Principal of Stumpnose Elementary. Smells of sardine. His proper name is actually Josiah Stumpnose the Fourth. al1:c01:p301
f_al1_345 character_fact

Professor-Inspector Josiah Stumpnose is described as a horrible man who would boast about winning the trophy for years to come.

Their principal, Professor-Inspector Josiah Stumpnose, is a HORRIBLE man, and if they won the trophy, he would boast about it for years to come. b02:c04:p090
f_b02_138 character_fact

Professor-Inspector Josiah Stumpnose sulked for 3 days and 4 minutes after his mechanic William Williams lost the repair duel.

Professor-Inspector Josiah Stumpnose, the evil Principal of Stumpnose Elementary (and William Williams' boss), was not happy. Apparently he sulked for 3 days and 4 minutes. b04:c04:p077
f_b04_052 character_fact

Professor Inspector Josiah Stumpnose is Founder and Principal of Stumpnose Elementary; his proper name is Josiah Stumpnose the Fourth.

Founder and Principal of Stmpnose Elementary. Like his school, he smells of sardine. His proper name is actually Josiah Stumpnose the Fourth. b11:c99:p348
f_b11_086 character_fact

Professor Inspector Josiah Stumpnose decreed himself Professor-Inspector for life.

Josiah Stumpnose the Fourth decreed himself Professor-Inspector for life. b11:c99:p349
f_b11_088 character_fact

Professor Inspector Stumpnose said on TV that he'd eat his hat if his school lost to Swedhump.

A few days ago, Professor Inspector Stumpnose gave a TV interview. He was so confident that his school would win, that he said he'd eat his hat if he lost. b11:c02:p049
f_b11_089 character_fact

Professor Inspector Josiah Stumpnose is the Principal of Stumpnose Elementary.

LABEL: Professor Inspector Josiah Stumpnose Principal of Stumpnose Elementary b12a:c00:p005
f_b12a_018 character_fact

Professor Inspector Josiah Stumpnose's proper name is Josiah Stumpnose the Fourth; he grew up in a sardine processing plant established by the original Josiah Stumpnose (the First).

His proper name is actually Josiah Stumpnose the Fourth. Josiah Stumpnose the Fourth grew up in a sardine processing plant. His father (Josiah Stumpnose the Third) grew up in the same processing plant, as did his father (Josiah Stumpnose the Second), which was established by the original Josiah Stumpnose, now known in the family as Josiah Stumpnose the First. b12a:c99:p310
f_b12a_204 character_fact

Professor Inspector Josiah Stumpnose is the Principal of Stumpnose Elementary.

Professor Inspector Josiah Stumpnose Principal of Stumpnose Elementary b12b:c00:p005
f_b12b_020 character_fact

Professor Josiah Stumpnose always smells of sardine.

For Josiah Stumpnose always smelt of sardine. Sometimes ever so slightly. Sometimes not so slightly at all. b12b:c03:p058
f_b12b_032 character_fact

Professor Josiah Stumpnose intended to become the next Principal of Swedhump Elementary after Mrs. Rosebank was fired.

And who, the world might ask, will be the next Principal of Swedhump Elementary? It will be ME! b12b:c05:p119
f_b12b_087 character_fact

Professor Josiah Stumpnose's proper name is Josiah Stumpnose the Fourth.

His proper name is actually Josiah Stumpnose the Fourth. b12b:c99:p264
f_b12b_253 character_fact

Professor Josiah Stumpnose is the arch-rival and arch-enemy of Mrs. Rosebank.

Arch-rival and arch-enemy of Mrs. Rosebank! b12b:c03:p056
f_b12b_337 character_fact

in_world_system (1)

At Stumpnose Elementary, Period 3 every day is mandatory sardine processing for all pupils; Period 6 is mandatory packing of sardine cans; refusing either results in a $1,000 fine or expulsion.

Period 3 of every day is mandatory sardine processing (for ALL pupils). If they refuse to process the sardines, they instantly get fined $1,000 or expelled. Period 6 of every day is mandatory packing of sardine cans for all pupils. If they refuse to pack them, they instantly get fined $1,000 or expelled. al1:c01:p304
f_al1_346 in_world_system

history (13)

Professor-Inspector Josiah Stumpnose sent Mindreading-Scallywags and a Snarling Jetpack-Hog to Dash's house.

So, he was the one who'd sent those trouble-makers to my house! b02:c06:p141
f_b02_079 history

Professor-Inspector Josiah Stumpnose poured Blue Spot Compound into a pipe in the pump-room so it would travel to the fountain and give the Swedhump students blue spots that itch when they pull faces.

He'd poured some of the Blue Spot Compound into a pipe in the pump-room and it had traveled to the fountain. b02:c06:p143
f_b02_080 history

Josiah Stumpnose the Fourth grew up in a sardine processing plant; his father (Josiah Stumpnose the Third) and grandfather (Josiah Stumpnose the Second) grew up in the same processing plant, which was established by Josiah Stumpnose the First.

Josiah Stumpnose the Fourth grew up in a sardine processing plant. His father (Josiah Stumpnose the Third) grew up in the same processing plant, as did his father (Josiah Stumpnose the Second), which was established by the original Josiah Stumpnose, now known in the family as Josiah Stumpnose the First. b11:c99:p348
f_b11_087 history

Professor Inspector Stumpnose sabotaged the first batch of bread by sneaking fast-growing mold into the baking studio bread-mix room through holes in the walls the night before.

For your FIRST batch, I snuck in some fast-growing mold. I just climbed over the school wall last night, and ambled over to the baking studio. The bread-mix room has so many holes in the walls, that it was easy to throw in the mold. b11:c09:p220
f_b11_191 history

Professor Inspector Stumpnose sabotaged the second batch of bread using delayed-blooming sardine slime, which only released its smell once the sculpted bread was rising.

For your SECOND batch, the Flour-Scallywags snuck in some delayed-blooming sardine slime. Only once the sculpted bread was rising, did the smell release. b11:c09:p221
f_b11_192 history

Professor Inspector Stumpnose sabotaged the third batch of bread by lobbing Mega-Yeast into the mix, which would activate in the oven ovens heat and cause the loaves to look like radioactive pumpkins.

Not just any-old yeast. MEGA-YEAST! The loaves will rise normally at first but when they go into the ovens, the heat will activate the mega-yeast. They'll look like radioactive pumpkins! b11:c09:p223
f_b11_193 history

Professor Inspector Stumpnose used an insect-spy-cam to spy on the Swedhump morning meeting and stole the idea of bread portraits.

I spied on your morning meeting with this little fellow! I simply borrowed your idea of bread-portraits. And mine are going to be better than yours. b11:c09:p226 b11:c09:p227
f_b11_194 history

Professor Inspector Stumpnose hid his own TTD inside the Dominic G. McDominic Trophy earlier in the day to be able to track it.

When he'd gone to talk to the press in the Trophy Building earlier in the day, he'd hidden HIS own TTD (Transponder Tracking Device) inside the trophy! b11:c12:p306
f_b11_195 history

Josiah Stumpnose the Fourth founded Stumpnose Elementary inside the family sardine processing plant and decreed himself Professor-Inspector for Life.

Hence Stumpnose Elementary was born. Josiah Stumpnose the Fourth decreed himself Professor-Inspector for Life. b12a:c99:p312
f_b12a_205 history

Professor Josiah Stumpnose was purposefully making the soup awful in order to embarrass Swedhump Elementary so The President would refuse to give the award and fire Mrs. Rosebank.

I'm purposefully making the soup awful. And you know why? To embarrass your school! The President will be so angry that she will refuse to give the award, and she will fire Mrs. Rosebank! b12b:c05:p118
f_b12b_086 history

Josiah Stumpnose the Fourth grew up in a sardine processing plant established by the original Josiah Stumpnose (the First); his father (the Third) and grandfather (the Second) also grew up in the same plant.

Josiah Stumpnose the Fourth grew up in a sardine processing plant. His father (Josiah Stumpnose the Third) grew up in the same processing plant, as did his father (Josiah Stumpnose the Second), which was established by the original Josiah Stumpnose, now known in the family as Josiah Stumpnose the First. b12b:c99:p264
f_b12b_254 history

Josiah Stumpnose the Fourth started Stumpnose Elementary in the sardine processing plant, decreeing himself Professor-Inspector for Life.

Hence Stumpnose Elementary was born. Josiah Stumpnose the Fourth decreed himself Professor-Inspector for Life. b12b:c99:p266
f_b12b_255 history

Professor Josiah Stumpnose disguised himself as Chef Froffington using a perfect mask of Froff.

He had a perfect mask of Froff, and he was furtively covering his face with it! b12b:c03:p056
f_b12b_336 history

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Cited pages (105)