Book 7

reading rules To read this book on a Monday, the reader must make the sound of an Osteop with a toothache, as loudly as possible.

To read this book on a MONDAY, please make the sound of an Osteop with a toothache. As loudly as possible. b07:c00:p004

reading rules Failure to make the Osteop sound on Monday may result in an actual Osteop howling for three hours outside your bedroom window.

Failure to do so may result in an actual Osteop howling for three hours outside your bedroom window later tonight. b07:c00:p004

reading rules To read this book on a Tuesday, the reader must make the sound of a panicking P'niknik summoning its family to the APPP, as loudly as possible.

To read this book on a TUESDAY, please make the sound of a panicking P'niknik summoning its family to the APPP (Annual Panicking P'nicknik Picnic). As loudly as possible. b07:c00:p005

reading rules Failure to make the P'niknik sound on Tuesday will result in an actual family of panicking P'nikniks entering your bedroom and having a picnic, chewing on curtains and carpets.

Failure to do so will result in an actual family of panicking P'nikniks entering your actual bedroom tomorrow when you're out, and having an actual picnic. And be warned, they particularly enjoy chewing on curtains, and carpets. b07:c00:p005

reading rules To read this book on a Wednesday, the reader must make the sound of a two-headed Snollimpest getting into a bath that is too cold.

To read this book on a WEDNESDAY, please make the sound of a two-headed Snollimpest getting into a bath that's waaaaaaay too cold. b07:c00:p006

reading rules Failure to make the Snollimpest sound on Wednesday may result in a spot fine of $45 and having to take a cold bath.

Failure to do so may result in a spot fine of $45 and having to take a cold bath yourself! b07:c00:p006

reading rules To read this book on a Thursday, the reader must make the sound of a Jessoponius singing in the shower.

To read this book on a THURSDAY, kindly make the sound of a Jessoponius singing in the shower. b07:c00:p007

reading rules To read this book on a Friday, the reader must vibrate like a walrus at the World Walrus Vibrating Championships for thirty seconds.

To read this book on a FRIDAY, kindly start vibrating like a walrus at the World Walrus Vibrating Championships. Do this for thirty seconds. b07:c00:p008

reading rules To read this book on a Saturday, the reader must for twenty seconds make the sound of a walrus that has just been admitted to walrospital having swallowed a mobile phone.

To read this book on a SATURDAY, for twenty seconds make the sound of a walrus that has just been admitted to walrospital having swallowed a mobile phone that won't stop ringing. b07:c00:p009

FMM-66 Dash set his FMM-66 (Foot-Massage Machine) to go off at 4.55am.

Today I set my FMM-66 (Foot-Massage Machine) to go off at 4.55am. b07:c01:p018

Dash Candoo Dash got out of bed at 5.15am.

At 5.15am I got out of bed, with my feet feeling pretty happy! b07:c01:p019

Antercoaster On Sundays, Dash drops his ants off at their antercoaster where they spend the day.

On Sundays I drop them off at their antercoaster (a rollercoaster for ants, if you didn't realize) where they spend the day. b07:c01:p020

Dash Candoo Dash took a cable car up to the top of Tree 42 to watch the sunrise.

After that I took a cable car up to the top of Tree 42 to watch the sunrise. b07:c01:p022

aerial aqua network Rob and Dash built the aerial aqua network a few years ago, and it is designed to drop Dash off right into one of his bedroom windows.

Rob and I built it a few years ago, and it's a lot of fun. We designed it so it drops me off right into one of my bedroom windows. Very convenient. b07:c01:p026

Henry the Hog Henry the Hog was fast asleep in the entrance hall of his burrow when Dash prepared his breakfast.

After that I got changed, prepared breakfast for Henry the Hog (he was still fast asleep in the entrance hall of his burrow)... b07:c01:p028

Carrot Sandwich A carrot sandwich is one of Dash's favorite meals.

...made a quick carrot sandwich (one of my favorite meals)... b07:c01:p028

Quadcycles Dash, Rob and Greta rode quadcycles to Niblett Beach.

After breakfast I tuned my quadcycle... ...grabbed my backpack, and headed out to meet Rob and Greta down the road. Then off to Niblett Beach we rode. b07:c02:p032 b07:c02:p033

Niblett Beach Niblett Beach is a stretch of perfect sand lapped by turquoise warm water.

Niblett Beach is a stretch of perfect sand lapped by turquoise warm water. b07:c02:p034

Niblett Beach Niblett Beach is named after Norbert Niblett, the famous navigator and walrus impersonator, who landed there in his ship over 400 years ago.

It's named after Norbert Niblett, the famous navigator and walrus impersonator, who landed here in his ship over 400 years ago. b07:c02:p035

Norma Island Norma Island lies one mile offshore from Niblett Beach and is a glistening palm-covered jewel.

One mile offshore lies Norma Island, a glistening palm-covered jewel. b07:c02:p038

Norma Island Norma Island is named after Norma Niblett, Norbert Niblett's wife.

It's named after Norma Niblett, Norbert Niblett's wife. b07:c02:p038

Norma Island Norma Island is private property and strictly out of bounds.

Unfortunately the island is private property, so it's strictly out of bounds! b07:c02:p039

Sandcastle Competition The sandcastle competition starts at 2 PM.

SIGN: SANDCASTLE COMPETITION TODAY! STARTS 2 PM b07:c02:p040

Grainometer 40,000 The Grainometer 40,000 is the prize for the sandcastle competition; it can count exactly how many grains of sand there are on a beach.

This was an important one, with a biiiiiig prize: A Grainometer 40,000. This legendary device can count how EXACTLY many grains of sand there are on a beach. b07:c02:p041

Pizzup Pizzup is like pizza but different and better; one of the key ingredients is hover-yeast, which allows the pizzup to levitate or float.

Pizzup is like pizza but different. And better. one of the key ingredients is hover-yeast, which allows the pizzup to levitate (or float). b07:c02:p048

Armadillo Cake Armadillo Cake is armadillo-flavored cake shaped like an armadillo.

Totally, totally, totally, totally, totally, totally, totally, totally, totally, totally, delicious armadillo-flavored cake. Shaped like an armadillo. b07:c02:p048

Deggs Deggs are eggs laid by Desert-quails, like chicken eggs but better, and come in 132 different flavors.

Deggs are eggs laid by Desert-quails. They are like chicken eggs, but better. They come in 132 different flavors. b07:c02:p048

Wombat Juice Wombat juice actually has nothing to do with wombats.

Wombat juice actually has nothing to do with wombats. b07:c02:p048

Madagascar-Pie Madagascar-Pie is a very delicious pie loved by anyone who tastes it.

Very delicious pie loved by anyone who tastes it. b07:c02:p049

Osteop Milk Osteop milk tastes better if milked with the left hand; doctors recommend one glass daily, to be drunk between 7am and 8am.

Their milk tastes better if milked with left hand. Doctors recommend one glass daily, to be drunk between 7am and 8am. b07:c02:p049

CIRAWIS Rob activated his CIRAWIS (Comprehensive Information Receiving Antenna with Inbuilt Speaker) to receive news about the Mainly Smiles being kidnapped.

Rob activated his CIRAWIS (Comprehensive Information Receiving Antenna with Inbuilt Speaker). The news was NOT GOOD. SPEECH: The Mainly-Smiles have been kidnapped! b07:c03:p054

Mainly Smiles The town of Dashville has a smerd (small herd) of Mainly Smiles.

Our town has a smerd* of these rare creatures. OTHER: * Small herd b07:c03:p055

Vesuvius Casablanca A few years ago, the famous explorer Vesuvius Casablanca found the Mainly Smiles hiding under a bridge during a fierce storm.

A few years ago, the famous explorer Vesuvius Casablanca found them hiding under a bridge during a fierce storm. b07:c03:p056

Vesuvius Casablanca Vesuvius Casablanca brought the lost and confused Mainly Smiles to his apartment until the storm abated.

They were lost and confused so he brought them to his apartment till the storm abated. b07:c03:p057

Jenna-Veeve Vvvwossington the Nineteenth Mayor Jenna-Veeve Vvvwossington the Nineteenth offered to house the Mainly Smiles at the Botanical Gardens, in the middle of which stands the Mayoral Villa-Mansion Residence.

When she heard about their plight, our Mayor, Jenna-Veeve Vvvwossington the Nineteenth, offered to house them at the Botanical Gardens, in the middle of which stands the Mayoral Villa-Mansion Residence. b07:c03:p058

Semaphorius Trundle-Humple Semaphorius Trundle-Humple is the Chief Gardener of the Botanical Gardens, known affectionately as Old Man Trundle-Humple.

Semaphorius Trundle-Humple, the Chief Gardener, known affectionately as Old Man Trundle-Humple, was VERY happy. b07:c03:p060

Dashville Botanical Gardens The Botanical Gardens gates open at sunrise, and there are large crowds that line up to see the Mainly Smiles.

These people are all standing in line to be let in when the gates open at sunrise. b07:c03:p061

Mainly Smiles The Mainly Smiles became the official mascots of Dashville.

Soon they became the official mascots of our town! b07:c03:p066

Vesuvius Casablanca Because the Botanical Gardens got so busy, the Mayor asked Vesuvius Casablanca to move in to help; he was excellent with the Mainly Smiles, managing visitors, and proved an excellent gardener.

The gardens got so busy that the Mayor asked the famous explorer, Vesuvius Casablanca, to move in to help. Vesuvius was excellent with the Mainly Smiles... b07:c03:p062 b07:c03:p064

Semaphorius Trundle-Humple Because Vesuvius Casablanca was doing such a fantastic job, Old Man Trundle-Humple didn't have much to do anymore and went into early retirement.

Because Vesuvius Casablanca was doing such a fantastic job, Old Man Trundle-Humple didn't have much to do anymore. He went into early retirement. b07:c03:p065

Warp-vortex Using the Warp-Vortex requires removing the input nozzle from the backpack and saying a password, after which the users are sucked up and deposited at their destination in an instant.

I removed the input nozzle from my backpack, we all said the password (which we can't tell you, sorry), and... ...in an instant we were sucked up... ...and deposited at the site of the kidnapping - the Botanical Gardens. b07:c03:p068 b07:c03:p069

Mainly Smiles The kidnappers were seen lowering a net from a chopto-hopto-copter to capture the Mainly Smiles and flew off.

The police were not having much luck finding clues. They told us that the kidnappers had been seen lowering a net from a chopto-hopto-copter. They'd captured the Mainly Smiles and simply flown off. b07:c03:p070

MGWN Greta had brought a Miniaturized Galloping Water-Ninny (MGWN) in her backpack.

Luckily Greta had brought a MGWN (Miniaturized Galloping Water-Ninny) b07:c04:p078

Instant Object Expander Rob used an IOE (Instant Object Expander) to deminiaturize the MGWN.

Rob deminiaturized it with an IOE (Instant Object Expander)... b07:c04:p079

KB-15 Dash's KB-15 began to flash faintly when they were being watched on Norma Island.

My KB-15 began to flash faintly. b07:c04:p085

Petunia Trundle-Humple PTH (Petunia Trundle-Humple) appeared from the foliage on Norma Island and told Dash and friends to leave, calling it a Forbidden Island.

"This is a FORBIDDEN ISLAND! We don't want horrible little children around here! Go back and NEVER RETURN or I'll call the police, and they won't take kindly to trespassing!" b07:c04:p087 b07:c04:p088

Palm-Scallywags Palm-Scallywags are dangerous; they fear nothing except Blue-eyed Monsters and coconuts falling on their heads.

Palm-Scallywags are dangerous! Very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, VERY, very dangerous. They fear nothing. Except Blue-eyed Monsters. And coconuts falling on their heads. b07:c06:p120 b07:c06:p121

Move #3,453 (Advancing Fence) Dash, Rob and Greta initiated Move #3,453 (Advancing Fence) when surrounded by Palm-Scallywags.

We initiated Move #3,453 (Advancing Fence). b07:c06:p123

Move #7,083 (No Idea What This Is) The Palm-Scallywags responded with Move #7,083 (No Idea What This Is).

They responded with Move #7,083 (No Idea What This Is). b07:c06:p124

Move #666 (Crazy People Having Allergic Reaction to Coconuts) Dash and friends replied with Move #666 (Crazy People Having Allergic Reaction to Coconuts).

We replied with Move #666 (Crazy People Having Allergic Reaction to Coconuts). b07:c06:p125

Move #11,144 (Fan & Encircle) The Palm-Scallywags responded with Move #11,144 (Fan & Encircle), which was too much for Dash and friends, and they were captured.

They responded with Move #11,144 (Fan & Encircle). This was too much for us. Captured! b07:c06:p126 b07:c06:p127

Petunia Trundle-Humple PTH said 'You'll pay for this! And so will Mayor Jenna-Veeve Vvvwossington the Nineteenth.'

"You'll pay for this!" "And so will Mayor Jenna-Veeve Vvvwossington the Nineteenth." she said calmly. b07:c06:p129

Small Remote-Activated Train PTH used a sinister gadget to open the hatch, from which came railway tracks along which came an S-RAT (Small Remote-Activated Train) that carried their cage underground.

And out came what looked like railway tracks... ...along which came an S-RAT (Small Remote-Activated Train). Our cage was placed atop the carriage. And then down we went. Down, down, down. b07:c06:p133 b07:c06:p134 b07:c06:p135

Metal Dissolving Spray Rob had a can of MDS (Metal Dissolving Spray) which melted the bars of the cage in one quick spray.

Luckily Rob had a can of MDS (Metal Dissolving Spray) with him. One quick spray, and the bars of the cage melted. b07:c07:p150

Greta Gretchen-Hoffer Greta has a good idea 847 times out of 850; she has only had 3 bad ideas.

And when Greta has an idea, 847 times out of 850 it's a good one.* CAPTION: *She's actually only had 3 bad ideas since I've known her. b07:c07:p156

escape plan Greta's plan was to paint two large blue spots under the mouth of each Mainly Smile so that when upside-down the spots looked like eyes and the smiles looked like scowls, terrifying the Palm-Scallywags who feared Blue-eyed Monsters.

We quickly got the blue paint, and under the mouth of each Mainly Smile we painted two large spots. When upside-down, the blue spots looked like eyes. And the former smiles were now scary scowls. b07:c07:p157 b07:c07:p161

Move #4,766 (Subterranean Recapture) The Palm-Scallywags deployed Move #4766 (Subterranean Recapture) but froze and fled when they saw the apparent Blue-eyed Monsters.

As they were busy deploying Move #4766 (Subterranean Recapture), they caught sight of the monsters. They froze momentarily... ...and then fled for their lives! b07:c07:p164 b07:c07:p165

Move #26,401 (Spring Bounce) Dash used Combat Move #26,401 (Spring Bounce, Island Style) to cause coconuts to fall on the Palm-Scallywags.

It came to me in an instant – YES! Combat Move #26,401 (Spring Bounce, Island Style). b07:c08:p175

Immediate Super-Fast Formation Upon Dash yelling the move number 26,401, their training activated and they went into ISFF (Immediate Super-Fast Formation) in a micro-second.

I yelled the move number... SPEECH: 26,401! ...and in a micro-second our training activated. We went into ISFF (Immediate Super-Fast Formation). b07:c08:p176

IACS Greta deployed her IACS (Instant Anti-Coconut Shield) straight out of her backpack to protect them from falling coconuts.

Greta deployed her IACS (Instant Anti-Coconut Shield) straight out of her backpack so were safe... b07:c08:p179

SPIN Radio Rob pulled out his SPIN radio and called the police; within 47 seconds they heard the sound of triplocopter rotors.

Rob pulled out his SPIN radio and called the police. Within 47 seconds we heard the familiar sound of triplocopter rotors against the air. b07:c08:p186 b07:c08:p187

Line-Launcher Rob used his line-launcher to shoot a strand of krypto-web at the chopto-hopto-copter to prevent PTH's escape.

Just in time Rob unsheathed his line-launcher, shot a strand of krypto-web straight at the chopto-hopto-copter. b07:c08:p195

Krypto-web Greta and Dash fastened the other end of the krypto-web to a rock, which held the chopto-hopto-copter in place.

Greta and I instinctively fastened the other end to a rock. b07:c08:p196

Petunia Trundle-Humple Petunia Trundle-Humple's full name is Petunia Trundle-Humple, and she is the daughter of Semaphorius Trundle-Humple.

SPEECH: My name is Petunia. Petunia Trundle-Humple. ...To avenge the injustice against my father, Semaphorius Trundle-Humple a.k.a. Old Man Trundle-Humple, Chief Gardener of the Botanical Gardens. b07:c09:p202 b07:c09:p203

Petunia Trundle-Humple Petunia Trundle-Humple's plan was to return the Mainly Smiles only if her father got his old job back at the Botanical Gardens.

My plan was to only return the animals if my father got his old job back. b07:c09:p203

Semaphorius Trundle-Humple Old Man Trundle-Humple was living in a tree house on the far end of Norma Island.

SPEECH: Up in his tree house. SPEECH: His tree house? SPEECH: Yes, it's on the far end of the island. b07:c09:p204

Petunia Trundle-Humple While the police got Petunia Trundle-Humple to fill out Confession Forms 88-84f, 7774g, 997r, TF339, FG323k and Arrest Forms 33s, 557g, 98893h, 34554453m, 34566j and 277c, Dash and friends visited her father.

While the police got Petunia Trundle-Humple to fill out Confession Forms 88-84f, 7774g, 997r, TF339, FG323k and Arrest Forms 33s, 557g, 98893h, 34554453m, 34566j and 277c... b07:c09:p205

Hummock Old Man Trundle-Humple was found asleep high up in a hummock on Norma Island.

We found him asleep high up in a hummock, blissfully unaware of the shenanigans just across the island. b07:c09:p210

Semaphorius Trundle-Humple Old Man Trundle-Humple said he never wanted to go back to his old job and loved retirement on the island.

"No! I'd never want to go back to my old job, I love retirement. Why would I ever want to leave this place? It's paradise and so peaceful." b07:c09:p212

Witch Nose Island Witch Nose Island is the most secure prison on earth.

Witch Nose Island is the most secure prison on earth. b07:c09:p214

King Cockroach If someone swears to King Cockroach, they absolutely must follow through; nobody in history has ever sworn to King Cockroach and not followed through.

If someone says "I swear to King Cockroach that I will...", you 100% know they will do it. Nobody, and we mean NOBODY in the history of history in its entirety has even sworn to King Cockroach and not followed through. b07:c09:p216

Petunia Trundle-Humple Petunia Trundle-Humple swore to King Cockroach that she would work in the Botanical Gardens and never do anything against the law again.

"I will come and work in the Botanical Gardens. I apologize for kidnapping the Mainly Smiles. And I swear to King Cockroach I will never do anything against the law ever again." b07:c09:p216

Honkersmith family The Honkersmith family at the sandcastle competition consists of Grimmwolf, Gronville, Gretel, Groffin (the dad) and Grotchen (the mom) Honkersmith.

LABEL: Grimmwolf Honkersmith LABEL: Gronville Honkersmith LABEL: Gretel Honkersmith LABEL: Groffin Honkersmith (the dad) LABEL: Grotchen Honkersmith (the mom) b07:c10:p224

Mr. Darling Mr. Darling, a math teacher from Swedhump Elementary, built a structure for his pinkfish at the sandcastle competition.

Mr. Darling, a teacher from our school, had built some kind of weird structure for his pinkfish. b07:c10:p225

Stumpnose Elementary Stumpnose Elementary is the rival school to Swedhump Elementary; their sandcastle smelt of rotting sardine, putrefying kelp and decaying seaweed.

Some kids from Stumpnose Elementary (our rival school) had built something that looked like... ...actually, I have no idea what it was. But I CAN tell you this much – it smelt: of rotting sardine, putrefying kelp and decaying seaweed. b07:c10:p226

Kwazzzznik Quadruplets The Kwazzzznik Quadruplets carry backpack-mounted toasters with them at all times.

And yes, the Kwazzzznik Quadruplets carry backpack-mounted toasters with them at all times. b07:c10:p227

Mr. Plumtree Mr. Plumtree built a copy of the Royal Palace of Middle-Ostentia (a world-famous castle) for the sandcastle competition.

Another teacher from our school, Mr. Plumtree, had built a copy of the Royal Palace of Middle-Ostentia* (a world-famous castle). b07:c10:p228

Collum Ollum Collum Ollum and his family built a large replica of Collum's face using bamboo for hair, frisbees for eyes and driftwood for teeth.

Collum Ollum and his family had built a large replica of Collum's face. They used bamboo for his hair, frisbees for his eyes and driftwood for his teeth. b07:c10:p229

Sandcastle Competition Dash, Rob and Greta won the sandcastle competition with their sandcarrot featuring a massive Mainly Smile.

And guess who won the competition? That's right! Us! b07:c10:p234 b07:c10:p235

Jenna-Veeve Vvvwossington the Nineteenth Mayor Jenna-Veeve Vvvwossington the Nineteenth handed Dash and friends the trophy, the Grainometer 40,000, and a key to the Botanical Gardens.

As mayor Jenna-Veeve Vvvwossington the Nineteenth handed us the trophy, and the coveted Grainometer 40,000, she also slipped us a small envelope. And in it, a key. A key to the Botanical Gardens. b07:c10:p235 b07:c10:p236

Armadillo Cake Armadillo cakes come in eight sizes: Very large, Large, Large medium, Medium medium, Small medium, Small, Tiny, and Microscopic.

Armadillo cakes come in eight sizes: [1] Very large [2] Large [3] Large medium [4] Medium medium [5] Small medium [6] Small [7] Tiny [8] Microscopic b07:c99:p245

Armadillo Cake The last two sizes (Tiny and Microscopic) are not really worth getting, except for your ants.

The last two sizes are not really worth getting, except for your ants. b07:c99:p245

Antercoaster The AC-SP-350 antercoaster can accommodate 350 ants on a single ride and is the most popular model on the market.

The kind Dash has is the AC-SP-350, which can accommodate 350 ants on a single ride and is the most popular model on the market. b07:c99:p245

Antercoaster The AC-SP-950 antercoaster can accommodate more ants and the ride is two minutes longer, but it is more expensive and a bit of a hassle to move around.

The AC-SP-950 can obviously accommodate a lot more ants, and the ride is two minutes longer. But it's more expensive and also a bit of a hassle to move around. b07:c99:p245

Aqua-Suit The Aqua-suit's main function is to prevent the wearer being scratched, and it also boosts agility during aqua-combat.

Fantastic water suit for use on slides, chutes and other water-park rides. The main function is it prevents the wearer being scratched. Also boosts agility during aqua-combat. b07:c99:p245

Aqua-Suit The Aqua-suit was pioneered by Gregory Gomponik, Gabriella Glissicle's great grandfather's grandmother's grandfather, who was a member of the 'Oscillating Eight', a legendary waterslide performance troupe.

The Aqua-suit was pioneered by Gregory Gomponik, Gabriella Glissicle's great grandfather's grandmother's grandfather. He was a member of the "Oscillating Eight", a legendary waterslide performance troupe that became famous during the gold-rush of eastern Hoggnolia. b07:c99:p246

Backpack-ladder In 2019, a BPL autodeployed in a factory staff member's car, causing him to drive off the road into a shallow duck pond; three ducks were injured and the factory had to pay a $25,000 fine.

In 2019, a BPL autodeployed in a factory staff member's car, causing him to drive off the road and into a shallow duck pond. Three ducks were injured, and the factory had to pay a $25,000 fine. b07:c99:p246

Backpack-ladder In 2016, three employees at the BPL factory were injured during testing when the main backpack cover was not correctly fastened and the ladder expanded inside the backpack, causing it to explode.

In 2016, three employees at the BPL factory were injured during the testing process. The main backpack cover was not correctly fastened and the ladder expanded inside the backpack, which then exploded. b07:c99:p246

Blue-Eyed Monsters Blue-eyed Monsters are born with brown eyes which turn bluer every time they eat a Palm-Scallywag; the bluer the eyes, the more dangerous.

Legend has it they are born with brown eyes, which then turn bluer and bluer every time they eat a Palm-Scallywag. So the bluer the eyes of a Blue-eyed Monster, the more dangerous. b07:c99:p247

Blue-Eyed Monsters No sighting of a Blue-Eyed Monster has ever been officially verified; they may not even exist.

No sighting has ever been officially verified however. We're not sure they even exist. b07:c99:p247

Bograt A Bograt is a disgusting kind of rat that lives and breeds in only the vilest, smelliest bogs; they aren't actually dangerous, just disgusting.

A Bograt is a disgusting kind of rat that lives and breeds in only the vilest, smelliest bogs. They aren't actually dangerous, just disgusting. b07:c99:p247

Bograt No photo has ever been taken of a Bograt and no proper research has been done on them; they may perhaps be made-up.

In fact, no photo has ever been taken of one, and no proper research has even been done on them, and come to think of it, nobody actually seems to know anything about them at all. Which makes us wonder whether they are perhaps made-up, and don't even exist? b07:c99:p247

Carrot Sandwich A carrot sandwich tastes best if the carrots are arranged in a zig-zag format, and there is no limit to how many carrots you can have between the outer carrots.

Tastes best if the carrots are arranged in a zig-zag format. There is no limit as to how many carrots you can have between the outer carrots. b07:c99:p247

Carrot Sandwich Collum Ollum once brought a carrot sandwich to school that had thirty two center-carrots.

Collum Ollum once brought a carrot sandwich to school that had thirty two center-carrots. It was delicious. b07:c99:p247

ICSMC The annual ICSMC (International Carrot Sandwich Making Competition) is one of the most televised events of the year and features the world's greatest chefs and carrot growers.

The annual ICSMC (International Carrot Sandwich Making Competition) is one of the most televised events of the year. It features not only the world's greatest chefs, but also the world's greatest carrot growers. b07:c99:p247

Dash Candoo It is one of Dash's secret ambitions to take part in the ICSMC one day.

It is one of Dash's secret ambitions to take part one day. b07:c99:p247

Chopto-hopto-copter The Chopto-hopter-copter is modelled on the aerodynamics of the common grasshopper and uses spring-loaded mechanical hind legs to jump take-off very rapidly.

Ingenious H-TAV (Helicopter-Type Airborne Vehicle) modelled loosely on the aerodynamics of the common grasshopper. Using its spring-loaded mechanical hind legs it is able to jump take-off very rapidly. b07:c99:p248

Chopto-hopto-copter Newer models of the Chopto-hopter-copter come equipped with retractable chopping pincers capable of cutting through anything except krypto-web.

Newer models come equipped with retractable chopping pincers capable of cutting through anything except krypto-web. b07:c99:p248

Chopto-hopto-copter The Chopto-hopter-copter is manufactured by G & J Tarrow Siblings Inc.

Manufactured by G & J Tarrow Siblings Inc. b07:c99:p248

CIRAWIS The CIRAWIS is developed, marketed and distributed by Mgadigadi Industries.

The CIRAWIS is developed, marketed and distributed by Mgadigadi Industries. b07:c99:p248

Deggs Deggs come in 132 different flavors; their flavor is activated by what kind of mood you're in and happens automatically.

They come in 132 different flavors. Their flavor is activated by what kind of mood you're in, and happens automatically. b07:c99:p248

Deggs The main kinds of Deggs are: Fry Degg, Scramble Degg, Poach Degg, and Boil Degg.

LABEL: Fry Degg LABEL: Scramble Degg LABEL: Poach Degg LABEL: Boil Degg b07:c99:p248

FMM-66 The FMM-66 gently starts massaging your feet ten minutes before your actual wake-up time; Dash's FMM-66 is mounted into the base of his bed.

This brilliant device can be pre-set as an alarm. It gently starts massaging your feet ten minutes before your actual wake-up time. Dash's FMM-66 is mounted into the base of his bed. b07:c99:p249

Grainometer 40,000 According to the Grainometer, approximately 10,000 grains of sand are in a handful, depending on the size of your hand.

Here's another question: How many grains of sand are in a handful? The answer, according to the Grainometer, is approximately 10,000. Depending on the size of your hand. b07:c99:p249

Hummock Hummocks are actual, soft-furred, live creatures that grow between trees; they hum according to your mood.

They are actual, soft-furred, live creatures that grow between trees. Hummocks hum, according to your mood. b07:c99:p249

Hummock If you're sleepy and climb into a hummock, it will gently hum you to sleep; if you're in a bad mood it will cheer you up with a sunny, upbeat hum.

So if you're sleepy, and climb into one, it will gently hum you to sleep. If you're in a bad mood, and climb into one, it will cheer you up with a sunny, upbeat hum. b07:c99:p249

IACS The IACS (Instant Anti-Coconut Shield) has inbuilt PPT (Projectile Protection Technology) so that coconuts suffer no damage when they hit the shield.

Please note that due to inbuilt PPT (Projectile Protection Technology), the coconuts suffer no damage when they hit the shield. b07:c99:p249

IACS Other shield versions include IAHS (Instant Anti-Hail Shield), IAMS (Instant Anti-Meteorite Shield), and IAWS (Instant Anti-Walrus Shield).

Other versions include: IAHS (Instant Anti-Hail Shield) IAMS (Instant Anti-Meteorite Shield) IAWS (Instant Anti-Walrus Shield) b07:c99:p250

Instant Object Expander To use the IOE, the user aims at the target, presses the red button, and thinks of how big they'd like it to expand; to shrink back, press the green button three times.

All the user needs to do is aim the IOE at the target, press the red button, and then think of how big they'd like it to expand to. To shrink the expanded object back to its original size, just press the green button three times in a row. b07:c99:p250

Instant Object Expander IOE beams bounce off mirrors, so the user can expand themselves by aiming at a mirror or directly at themselves.

IOE beams do bounce off mirrors, so you can actually expand yourself. It can also be done by simply aiming the device at yourself. b07:c99:p250

Immediate Super-Fast Formation ISFF (Immediate Super-Fast Formation) can be applied to combat moves, getting out of bed, getting into bed, showering, massaging a walrus, and escaping an angry walrus.

Can also be applied to: - Getting out of bed - Getting into bed - Showering - Massaging a walrus - Escaping an angry walrus b07:c99:p250

Jessoponius A Jessoponius is a single-headed, furry, human-sized mammal that loves singing and loves taking showers; its favourite activity is a combination of the two.

A Jessoponius is a single-headed, furry, human-sized mammal that loves singing and loves taking showers. The favourite activity of this lovely creature is a combination of the two, i.e. singing in the the shower. b07:c99:p250

KB-15 KB-15 flash codes: Red on-off 1-second intervals continuous means imminent danger; Red on 2s off 2s means imminent lightning storm; Green on 3s off 1s means takeout delivery almost here; Blue on 5s off 5s means battery needs charging.

Red – on-off 1-second intervals continuous: Imminent danger. Red – on 2s, off 2s: Imminent lightning storm. Green – on 3s, off 1s: Takeout delivery almost here. Blue – on 5s, off 5s: Battery needs charging. b07:c99:p251

Krypto-web Krypto-Web is the world's strongest rope, made from the leaf fibers of a hammaphore tree; not even a Saw-toothed Doublodile can chew through it.

The world's strongest rope, it's made from the leaf fibers of a hammaphore tree. It's so strong that not even a Saw-toothed Doublodile can chew through it. b07:c99:p251

King Cockroach King Cockroach is a totally terrifying person-insect-thing; nobody knows if he actually exists, what he looks like, where he lives, or what kind of food he eats.

Totally, totally, totally, totally, totally, totally, totally, totally, totally, totally, totally, totally, totally, totally terrifying person-insect-thing. Nobody knows if he actually exists, or if he does, what he looks like and where he lives and what kind of food he eats. b07:c99:p251

Line-Launcher The Line-Launcher has a projectile distance of up to 500 yards and employs CRT (Coil-Release Technology).

Backpack-mounted, rapid launcher of rope, wire, krypto-web and other similar products. Projectile distance of up to 500 yards. Employs CRT (Coil-Release Technology) which means the thing to be launched (i.e. the rope or wire) needs to be advance wound around a tightly sprung coil within the primary release chamber itself. b07:c99:p251

Madagascar-Pie Madagascar-Pie was invented by Mrs. Nosey-Komba, who lives on a small island off northern Madagascar; the recipe is classified.

Invented by Mrs. Nosey-Komba, who lives on a small island off northern Madagascar. The recipe is actually classified (i.e. top secret). Only people on the previously-mentioned island know it. b07:c99:p252

Mainly Smiles Mainly Smiles smile 98% of waking hours and 99% during sleep.

Smile time during waking hours: 98% Smile time during sleep: 99% b07:c99:p252

Mainly Smiles Mainly Smiles' diet consists of leaves, grasses, seeds and their favorite, smushrooms.

Diet: Leaves, grasses, seeds and their favorite, smushrooms b07:c99:p252

Mainly Smiles Mainly Smiles walk at 3.1 miles per hour (same as humans) and run at 9.3 miles per hour.

Walking speed: 3.1 miles per hour (same as humans) Running speed: 9.3 miles per hour b07:c99:p252

Mainly Smiles Mainly Smiles have a lifespan of 10-13 years (same as dogs).

Lifespan: 10-13 years (same as dogs) b07:c99:p252

Mainly Smiles Mainly Smiles' favorite activities are smiling, cuddling, and foraging for smushrooms.

Favorite activities: Smiling, cuddling, foraging for smushrooms b07:c99:p252

Mainly Smiles The largest spotted herd of Mainly Smiles is 133.

Largest spotted herd: 133 b07:c99:p252

Mainly Smiles Mainly Smiles are fairly rare but widely distributed; small pockets have been spotted in all explored sectors of Moremi Forest, The Foothills and the eastern sectors of the Open Plain.

Distribution: Whilst fairly rare, they are widely distributed. Small pockets of them have been spotted in all explored sectors of Moremi Forest, The Foothills and the eastern sectors of the Open Plain. b07:c99:p252

Mainly Smiles After eating smushrooms, Mainly Smiles' smiles broaden and they seem to vibrate ever so slightly.

Curiously: After eating smushrooms their smiles broaden and they seem to vibrate ever so slightly. b07:c99:p252

Metal Dissolving Spray MDS (Metal Dissolving Spray) dissolves metal but has zero impact on other materials; it is super-expensive but highly useful.

Super-expensive but highly useful spray that dissolves metal but has zero impact on other materials. b07:c99:p252

MGWN A mature MGWN can grow up to two feet long; they do not bite.

A mature MGWN can grow up to two feet long. They do not bite. b07:c99:p253

MGWN Greta adopted an orphaned MGWN and sometimes carries it around in her backpack.

Greta adopted an orphaned MGWN and sometimes carries it around in her backpack. b07:c99:p253

MGWN MGWNs can run across water, reaching speeds of up to forty knots.

Can run across water, reaching speed of up to forty knots. b07:c99:p253

Move #666 (Crazy People Having Allergic Reaction to Coconuts) Move #666 contains 127 very specific face pulls, each of which needs to be perfected, and is the only documented move powerful enough to defeat Move #7,083.

The important thing about this move is that it contains 127 very specific face pulls, each of which needs to be perfected. Usually best deployed if in an environment where coconuts are present... It's the only documented move powerful enough to defeat Move #7,083 (used by Palm-Scallywags). b07:c99:p253

Move #3,453 (Advancing Fence) Move #3,453 (Advancing Fence) is best deployed when there are over one hundred fighters; with just three it is a lame move.

Best deployed when there are a lot of you, like over one hundred. If there are just, say, three of you, it's kind of a lame move. b07:c99:p253

Move #4,766 (Subterranean Recapture) Move #4,766 (Subterranean Recapture) is usually deployed rapidly to capitalise on the element of surprise; some versions involve screaming, shrieking or yelling which creates a terrifying underground echo.

Usually deployed rapidly to capitalise on the element of surprise. Some versions of the move involve screaming, shrieking or yelling, which creates a terrifying underground echo accompaniment, which disorients the enemy. b07:c99:p253

Move #7,083 (No Idea What This Is) Move #7,083 is so advanced that Palm-Scallywags need to take a specialized two month, top-secret, technical course to acquire certification.

In fact, Move #7,083 is so advanced that Palm-Scallywags need to take a specialized two month, top-secret, technical course to acquire certification. b07:c99:p254

Move #11,144 (Fan & Encircle) Move #11,144 (Fan & Encircle) has no known counter-move and can be deployed in thick, thin, or zero vegetation environments.

No known counter-move. Has been known to be deployed in thick vegetation environments, thin vegetation environments as well as zero vegetation environments. b07:c99:p254

Move #26,401 (Spring Bounce) Move #26,401 (Spring Bounce) can be used for knocking fruit off trees, closing doors/gates, pushing a vehicle that won't start, opening a trapdoor above or below you, testing a trampoline, and annoying someone.

Side-bounces: Knocking fruit off trees, Closing doors/gates, Pushing a vehicle that won't start. Up-down-bounces: Opening a trapdoor above you, Opening a trapdoor below you, Testing a trampoline, Annoying someone b07:c99:p254

Osteops Osteops lay eggs in batches of 6; the eggs hatch after 1 month.

Osteops lay eggs in batches of 6. The eggs hatch after 1 month. b07:c99:p255

Osteops Mother Osteops become violent during the entire laying-to-hatching period and must be avoided at all costs.

Mother osteops become violent during the entire laying-to-hatching period so must be avoided at all costs. b07:c99:p255

Osteops Large herds of wild Osteops inhabit the foothills of The Foothills; when Osteops move up to higher terrain, their milk is not so great.

Large herds of wild Osteops inhabit the foothills of The Foothills. Their milk is legendary. When Osteops move up to higher terrain, their milk is not so great. b07:c99:p254

Osteop Milk If you drink Osteop milk after 8am you might get an upset elbow.

If you drink it after 8am you might get an upset elbow. b07:c99:p255

Pizzup Pizzup can hover above surfaces and has been known to hover at speeds in excess of 41 miles per hour.

So it can hover above a surface. They have been known to hover at speeds in excess of 41 miles per hour. b07:c99:p255

Pizzup Collum Ollum once ate a dozen pizzups to test if eating pizzup would make him float; it did not, but it made him vomit.

Collum Ollum once tested this by eating a dozen pizzups. Big ones. It didn't make him float, but did make him vomit. b07:c99:p255

P'niknik The most important event in the P'niknik calendar is the APPP (Annual Panicking P'niknik Picnic).

The most important event in the P'niknik calendar is the APPP (Annual Panicking P'niknik Picnic). b07:c99:p255

Palm-Scallywags Palm-Scallywags have high distribution in palm forests and are found nowhere else; their special powers are camouflage and jumping ability.

How common: High distribution in palm forests (found nowhere else) Special power: Camouflage, jumping ability b07:c99:p256

Palm-Scallywags Palm-Scallywags have a typical group size of 6, never operate alone, have a maximum jump distance of 16 feet, a cleverness rating of 4/10, speed of 7/10, and agility of 7/10.

Typical group size: 6 Operate alone? Never Maximum Jump Distance: 16 feet Cleverness: 4/10 Speed: 7/10 Agility: 7/10 b07:c99:p256

Pinkfish Pinkfish are like goldfish but pink; they are very tame when happy, but when bored can be aggressive and bite like piranhas.

Like goldfish, but a different color. Pink, actually. Very tame when happy, but when bored can be aggressive and bite like piranhas. b07:c99:p256

Pinkfish Pinkfish need constant attention: they have to be walked, entertained, and read to before bed; some rich pinkfish have their own walk-bowls.

Need constant attention, i.e., have to be walked, entertained, read to before bed, etc. Some rich pinkfish actually have their own walk-bowls. b07:c99:p256

QSB A QSB (Quick Snack Break) is recommended at least twice a day; group size can extend from two people up to two hundred.

Pleasant activity that we recommend undertaking at least twice a day, particularly when you need time to think, chat, relax or eat something delicious. Can be done solo or with a group, and group size can extend from two people, up to two hundred. b07:c99:p256

QSB Dash, Rob and Greta have fully-stocked QSB holsters integrated into their backpacks.

Dash, Rob and Greta actually have fully-stocked QSB holsters integrated into their backpacks. b07:c99:p256

Quadcycles Quadcycles are four-wheeled cycles that fold up into a backpack and are deployed by mind activation; the wheel configuration constantly adapts to terrain controlled by a sensor embedded in the saddle.

Four-wheeled cycles that can fold up into a backpack and be deployed by mind activation. The wheel configuration constantly adapts to the terrain and is controlled by a very sophisticated sensor (or "brain") embedded in the saddle. b07:c99:p256

Quadcycles A three-week introductory course at the QTA (Quadcycle Training Academy) is highly recommended.

A three-week introductory course at the QTA (Quadcycle Training Academy) is highly recommended. b07:c99:p257

Quadcycles Quadcycle maintenance includes keeping the sneggle-sprocket smooth with enough lemon juice on it at all times, with the lemon juice compression canister fully primed to at least level 8 before big missions.

make sure the sneggle-sprocket is smooth and has enough lemon juice on it at all times. Make sure the lemon juice compression canister is fully primed to at least level 8, especially before big missions. b07:c99:p257

scallywags To officially become a scallywag, one needs to graduate from Scallywag Academy.

To officially become a scallywag, one needs to graduate from Scallywag Academy. b07:c99:p257

Snerpent A verified nineteen-headed Snerpent sighting was first documented by Vesuvius Casablanca; most Snerpents can swim, climb trees and burrow, and some can fly.

A verified nineteen-headed Snerpent sighting was first documented by the legendary explorer Vesuvius Casablanca. All Snerpents are believed to be highly venomous. Most can swim, climb trees and burrow. Some can fly. b07:c99:p257

Snollimpest A Snollimpest is a human-sized, furry, multi-headed mammal; the most common variety have two heads, but some have been documented with up to nine heads.

A Snollimpest in a human-sized, furry, multi-headed mammal. The most common variety have two heads, but some have been documented with up to nine heads. b07:c99:p257

Snollimpest Snollimpests love warm water and are especially fond of taking long baths; they HATE cold water.

Snollimpests love warm water, and are especially fond of taking long baths, They HATE cold water. b07:c99:p257

SPIN Radio A SPIN radio (Secure Police Interface Neo-mogrifier) lets the user communicate directly with International Police Headquarters; it folds up to the size of a small pea.

A SPIN radio (Secure Police Interface Neo-mogrifier) lets the user communicate directly with International Police Headquarters. Very few exist, and only highly trained experts are allowed to use them. It folds up to the size of a small pea. b07:c99:p258

SPIN Radio Rob Newman usually has a SPIN radio with him.

Rob Newman usually has one with him. b07:c99:p258

Small Remote-Activated Train The S-RAT (Small Remote-Activated Train) is a sophisticated solar-powered train controlled by R-MIT (Remote Molluscular Interface Technology); R-MIT signals can penetrate soil, rock and even concrete.

Sophisticated solar-powered train that is controlled by R-MIT (Remote Molluscular Interface Technology). These trains are especially useful in cave and tunnel networks since R-MIT signals can penetrate soil, rock and even concrete. b07:c99:p258

Small Remote-Activated Train The S-RAT is built by Pandamatenga Industries.

Built by Pandamatenga Industries. b07:c99:p258

Stumpnose Elementary Stumpnose Elementary's principal is Professor Inspector Josiah Stumpnose.

Principal: Professor Inspector Josiah Stumpnose. b07:c99:p258

Stumpnose Elementary Most kids who attend Stumpnose Elementary are known to be awful, rude, mean, have terrible table manners, or all of the above.

Most kids who attend this school are known to be: [1] awful or [2] rude or [3] mean or [4] have terrible table manners or [5] all of the above. b07:c99:p258

Sweds Sweds are two-faced humped ATCs (Antelope-Type Creatures) found in forests, on open plains and near rivers.

Two-faced humped ATCs (Antelope-Type Creatures) found in forests and on open plains and near rivers. b07:c99:p258

Sweds If you rub the hump of a Swed at full moon, it will bring you good luck for a month.

They say if you rub the hump of a Swed at full moon, it will bring you good luck for a month. b07:c99:p258

Swedhump Elementary Swedhump Elementary is named after the hump of a swed, a two-faced humped creature.

Named after the hump of a swed, a two-faced humped creature. b07:c99:p259

Sweds The three most common kinds of Sweds are Grinning Sweds (mischievous), Grumpy Sweds (the nicest kind, friendly and sweet), and Smiling Sweds (deceptive - they do actually bite).

Grinning Sweds: Mischievous. Grumpy Sweds: The nicest kind. Friendly and sweet. Smiling Sweds: The smile is deceptive — they do actually bite. b07:c99:p258

Sweds Collum Ollum once had a Grinning Swed as a pet.

Grinning Sweds: Mischievous. Collum Ollum once had one as a pet. b07:c99:p258

Sweds Sweds are common on the eastern fringes of Moremi Forest; they build nests in Makataka trees, down small burrows, or in dry riverbeds; eggs are laid in batches of 3.

Sweds are common on the eastern fringes of Moremi Forest. They build their nests in Makataka trees, down small burrows, or in dry riverbeds. Eggs are usually laid in batches of 3. b07:c99:p259

Sweds The Great Swed Migration occurs in February heading north-east to the Open Plains, where they assemble in the tens of thousands during March; in April they head back south-west.

The Great Swed Migration occurs in February and heads north-east, up to the Open Plains where they assemble in the tens of thousands and do some weird stuff over the month of March. In April they head back south-west again. b07:c99:p259

Swedhump Elementary Swedhump Elementary's principal is Mrs. Rosebank.

Principal: Mrs. Rosebank. b07:c99:p259

Triplocopter Triplocopters were invented by G. & J. Tarrow Siblings Inc. in 2010; they are sixty-one times faster and seventeen times more powerful than regular helicopters.

Triple-helicopters invented by G. & J. Tarrow Siblings Inc. in 2010. The equivalent of three helicopters stuck together. They are sixty-one times faster and seventeen times more powerful than regular helicopters, though more complicated to fly. b07:c99:p259

Triplocopter The test pilot of the first triplocopter was James Hogsbottom, who teaches Paper Airplane class at Swedhump Elementary.

The test pilot of the first version was James Hogsbottom, who teaches Paper Airplane class at Swedhump Elementary. b07:c99:p259

Triplocopter There have been no reported triplocopter crashes to date.

There have been no reported triplocopter crashes to date. b07:c99:p259

Walrospital A walrospital is a hospital for walruses.

A walrospital is a hospital for walruses. If you didn't realise. b07:c99:p259

Warp-vortex A warp-vortex allows the warpee (owner) plus sub-warpees (passengers) to move from one place to another in a trilli-second; pocket versions exist but are expensive.

A warp-vortex allows the warpee (owner) plus sub-warpees (passengers) to move from one place to another in a trilli-second. Warp-vortexes are typically backpack-mounted. Pocket versions do exist but are quite expensive. b07:c99:p260

Warp-vortex Each warp-vortex has its own password which the users will not share under any circumstances.

Each warp-vortex has its own password, which the users will not share under any circumstances (so don't even ask). b07:c99:p260

Witch Nose Island Witch Nose Island's entire perimeter is ringed by twenty-seven krypto-web fences, eleven of which are electrified.

The entire perimeter is ringed by twenty-seven krypto-web fences, eleven of which are electrified. b07:c99:p260

Witch Nose Island The water around Witch Nose Island is freezing and full of Shnarks (more vicious than sharks), flesh-eating Saw-toothed Doublodiles, and killer electric rays.

The water around it is freezing and full of Shnarks (which are more vicious than sharks), flesh-eating Saw-toothed Doublodiles, and killer electric rays. b07:c99:p260

Witch Nose Island No prisoner has ever escaped from Witch Nose Island.

No prisoner has ever escaped from it. b07:c99:p260

Wombat Juice Wombat Juice is made from walrus milk, octopus saliva, mango, beetroot, avocado and tomato, blended in any proportions and served with ice.

The name comes from its ingredients: Walrus milk, Octopus saliva, Mango, Beetroot, Avocado, Tomato. Blend them in any proportions, then serve with ice. b07:c99:p260